Reply To: Responding to the Attacks Today & Yesterday by MusicMan on Cakewalk Forum

[LinkedMusicians]

On lastcall said

I find it so weird how people throw away their lives doing these kind of things.
It’s just a big waste of time.
Why not focus in doing something productive with your life, so you can improve it?
My comment is aimed at the whole world… (to those whom my description fits).

One way to improve your life is GETTING TOGETHER to achieve certain goal.
Where does all this nonsense and rivalry come from?

I don’t understand lots of human behaviour.
Is it low IQ? Is it emotional trauma? Is it low emotional intelligence?

Worst part is when they look like a very nice person then they explode on you… very very disappointing.
Very very very disappointing.

Then I see some very cool dudes on Youtube wanting to help the viewer (and actually succeeding) with any matter in life,
then my faith in humanity comes back. (2 of them for my case are Paul Third and Emrah Celik, very very passionate guys).

My take on this, and I did, through this experience, try my best to talk sense with Musicman — I have no idea of the guy’s real name, because his record was all fake information. I, on numerous occasions, tried to persuade the guy to put things in perspective. He was just incredibly angry at me for confronting him about his using referral codes in his posts. I went to the other moderators to tell them what he was doing all the way back in June, so the situation with him has long been known to our moderators. His behavior was very unusual; he would lash out in very malicious ways. And before all this, we had gotten along great. Before this, I was setting up the SMTP emails for the site with Amazon and found it really confusing and he gave me some super helpful advice, so I really went out of my way not to suspend him. I even offered a way around the rules for referral codes and there were, I think, three occasions where I made posts where I posted and tagged our moderators AND MuiscMan, offering to use their referral codes as a way to thank them for helping with the site.

I’ll give you my take on what it is with him, because it happens when you moderate and give certain types of guys — and it very much seems a macho guy thing — a rebuke of any kind, they overreact. There was another former member, I’ve never talked about it before, that violated our policy of attacking other members (not me). I temporarily suspended his account. I always got along super well with the guy. Never a run in. And he had made a really vicious, defamatory post about Peter from IK. So, I suspended his account and I sent him an email. I told him that his post violated the rules, and I needed to edit it and I needed his commitment to not do a post like that again.  His response? “F*ck you and f*ck America!” I was completely caught off guard on that one and tried to calm him down. I responded, with empathy. He’s Canadian and at the time the US president was threatening to take over Canada, and I took that into consideration. So I let him know that I didn’t agree with that stuff, I just needed him to promise not to attack Peter or anyone on LM in the future. He lashed out at me again. I hated the idea of banning this guy. I told the other moderators about it, and I recall that Brian really wanted this individual to stay, and I really bent over backwards but this guy, became incredibly abusive. I wrote to him, “I don’t know what’s going on in your life. I’m going to consider that you may be having a difficult time in your life right now. I just need you to promise me that you won’t lash out at another member again, if I remove the suspension.” The guy again told me off with some F bombs and other names, largely about Americans, and I never heard from him again.

I think there’s some macho response that some guys have. It’s this toxic masculinity bullshit, to some extent, I think. We all have our shortcomings, but I know that isn’t one of mine, and that’s the common thread I see with these guys. All I know is that it’s a sure sign that they don’t fit with the values of this community to respect others. There is no question about that.

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